Some parents may worry that setting strict rules may distance them from their children. But this simply isn't the case. Though they may gripe and complain and get upset when you become the enforcer, they realize deep down that this shows you care. These parameters you set forth and enforce make your child feel loved, safe, and secure.
It's never easy developing and introducing rules. Parents may tend to avoid setting rules because they fear confrontation and unpleasantness. But the uncomfortable stuff isn't necessarily a reflection on your relationship with your child, it's just the nature of adolescence - breaking rules and pushing limits is a part of growing up. We tend to want to be our child's friend sometimes, and when we're laying down the law that just isn't possible. Our primary role is to protect, nurture and provide for our children.
When kids break rules, parents often overreact with harsh, disproportionate and unenforceable punishment, which undermines the effectiveness of setting rules. Instead, when you first tell your child about a new rule, discuss the consequences of breaking that rule - what the punishment will be and how it will be carried out. Consequences must go hand in hand with limits so that your child knows what the cost of breaking the rules will be. The punishments you set should be reasonable and related to the violation. For example, if you catch your son and his friends smoking, you might "ground" him by restricting his social activities for two weeks.
Punishments should only involve penalties you discussed before the rule was broken. Also, never issue empty threats. It's understandable that you'll be angry when house rules are broken, and sharing your feelings of anger, disappointment, or sadness can have a powerfully motivating effect on your child. Since we're all more inclined to say things we don't mean when we're upset, it's sometimes best to give ourselves a time-out period to cool off before we say something we don't mean.
Make the ground rules crystal clear to your child. It's imperative that you are consistent and follow through with a defined disciplinary action after each infraction, and that your child understands the reasons why.
Building Your Childs Self Esteem
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Because Just Isnt The Answer
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The Family That Eats Together Stays Healthy Together
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Protect Your Childs Emotional Well Being
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Connect With Your Child But Dont Overdo It
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Teach Your Child To Give Respect And They Will Gain Respect In Return
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Successful Two Way Communications With Your Child
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Providing A Safe And Secure Home For Your Child
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The Keys To Effective Discipline
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Control Your Anger Don't Let It Control You
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Our Ever Changing Role As A Parent
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Get Involved In Your Childs Activities Hobbies And School
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Positive Discipline Without Hurting Your Child
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Constructing Your Childs Healthy Sense Of Self Esteem
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The Importance Of A Regular Routine To Your Child
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Learn From Your Mistakes And So Will Your Child
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Actively Listening To Your Child
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Take The Bite Out Of Your Toddlers Biting Problem
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Help Your Child Kick The Thumbsucking Habit
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Chores Can Help Your Child Learn About Teamwork And A Strong Work Ethic
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Encourage Your Child To Feel Important
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Productive And Positive Potty Training
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Encouraging Play Encourages A Childs Development
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Celebrate Your Childs Uniqueness
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Negotiating Rules
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Do As I Say And As I Do
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Clear Expectations Make Discipline Easier
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Present A Unified Parental Front When Disciplining Your Child
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Harsh Discipline Does It Do More Harm Than Good
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Follow Thorugh Is The Key To Successful Discipline
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The Whys Of Whining
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Physical Punishment Is Ineffective And Harmful
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Time Outs Help Reinforce Positive Behavior And Discourage Misbehaving
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Consistency Is Key To Successful Discipline
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Tactics For Tackling A Toddlers Temper Tantrum
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Training The Fussy Eater
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Teen Parenting
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The Importance Of Crystal Clear Rules For Your Child
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Good Parenting
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